The traditional roles of male and female are for the female to play the role of Moon. After all, the Moon is the feminine planet and the Sun the masculine. When a man plays the Moon role in a relationship, he loses some of his masculinity. We like to say he “sacrifices” some of his masculinity. And for some people, this can be a problem. There are some birthdays for men that are okay being the Moon card. They might be naturally more feminine or drawn to be the support person.
And there are many birthdays for women that are very career-oriented and goal-driven. The 10♣ is a good example of this. Most 10♣ ladies are very career-driven. And most of them are not going to want to be cast into the traditional role of wife and helper to some man. For them, it is generally better to find a man who will be Moon to them, and hopefully one who will be okay taking the lead.
Madonna, a famous Leo 10♣, first married Sean Penn, a Leo 9♣. He is Moon to her but the relationship failed because he was not comfortable being second to her or any woman for that matter. Some men have a strong male identity and for them, being Moon to a woman is not an option. But a strongly male-natured woman, such as the 10♣, can usually find a man who will be happy to be their Moon card if they just look for them.
Other cards for ladies, such as Kings and a few others, probably need a man to be Moon to them. And I have recommended many times to some of my clients, because of astrological considerations, that they only choose men who are Moon to them to date or marry. So, it does happen and needs to happen in many cases.
Some cards for men tend to be what we call “momma’s boys.” Usually, these men have powerful mothers, and often they are Moon to their mothers. And this can cause them, as adults, to unconsciously seek a similar relationship with a woman because on some level, they feel that their role is to “please mom.” In some cases, these relationships work out, but more often they do not. The A♦ is a common example, and the cards show this with their Q♠ in Mercury, which represents the powerful mother they have. Our Life Spread Mercury Card is a symbol of what was predominant in our early childhood. But the A♦ is a very masculine card and will never really be happy being Moon to a lady.
But even when it is necessary, it is still true that a man loses some of his masculinity with such a woman. He usually will need to regenerate that somehow. He has to do things outside the relationship from time to time. Or, he needs to have male friends that he can do male things with to recapture this lost masculinity.